The Tetherball Tournament
by Janet Martini de La Ley
Summary: Sequel to 'Warriors'. Napoleon and Pedro create a tournament for their favorite sport at Preston High. Who will be crowned champion?
1. The Best Sport Ever Played

Author's Note: the disclaimer is in my profile. I got inspired to write this after watching "The Benchwarmers" featuring Jon Heder. I guess I own _Rodando la Tortilla_ (I don't know if that trick really works though; or if I said it right in Spanish). Also, kudos to my new/first beta reader, El Takeshiro!

**The Best Sport Ever Played**

Pedro Sanchez was proud of the changes that occurred after he became president. Hardly anyone was getting bullied, the cafeteria started serving Mexican food on Wednesdays (excluding chimichangas), and everyone was happy. He meant what he said at the election assembly: "If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true."

He and Napoleon were taking the same classes, but they could only converse in PE. Their favorite activity was tether ball. Napoleon showed Pedro some tricks (like kicking the ball) and the Chicano had a few of his own.

"Where did you learn that", asked Napoleon.

"My sister Corrina taught me that one. She calls it _Rodando la Tortilla_ (rolling the tortilla)." Pedro hit the ball down so hard opened palm that it curved up, causing Napoleon to duck.

"That was flippin' sweet! Tether ball is probably the best sport I've ever played."

"I agree. It's really fun and easy."

"Hey, did you know that now there are like dodge ball leagues!"

"_Sí_, but what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that if dodge ball is a big sport, then tether ball should be one too!"

"I think that most people consider tether ball a game, not a sport."

"Well they should, gosh!" Then Napoleon smacked the ball with a fist, and Pedro just let it wrap around the poll.

"What do you suggest we do Napoleon?"

"I think we should have a tether ball tournament at our school, and maybe the media or whatever could spread the word."

"That sounds good, but we have to talk with the student council about it."

"You think they'll say yes?"

"I don't know, but we have to try."

---

The student council at Preston High gathered every Tuesday after school in the cafeteria. Summer Wheatley (vice-president), Don, Trisha, and a few others were on the board. The council was responsible for organizing and helping with school events, like FFA competitions, but since it was early in the year their main concern was pep-rallies.

Every other week Pedro would join them, and when he showed up with Napoleon one meeting they ignored the two. Summer and Trisha stood at the head of a rectangle table while their fellow members sat and listened intently. They focused on how the girls' locker room needed to be rebuilt and asked for ideas to raise funds; that lasted thirty minutes. Napoleon had nodded off, but Pedro woke him when the matter was settled.

"Well", said Summer, "I guess that'll be all for this-"

"Wait", Napoleon yelled, "I have something important to say." Summer uttered a long sigh.

"…Fine, but make it quick. The rest of us have places to be you know."

"Yeah, right… Anyway, me and Pedro were thinking of having a tether ball tournament here at school."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Tether ball is the worse game ever."

"It's a flippin' sport!"

"And, it's not stupid", Don added. "I think we should have one. It could be interesting."

"Heck yes it would!" Napoleon gave Don a high-five, and Summer rolled her eyes.

"We still have to vote on it, no matter how idiotic the idea is. All in favor raise your hand." Half the people in the council, plus Napoleon and Pedro, raised their hand. "Now, all opposed." Summer and the rest showed their disapproval. "It looks like the answer's no."

"No," Napoleon shouted, "More voted for it!"

"You and Pedro don't count, because you're not a part of student council."

"So it's tied then, gosh!"

"That's not fair", Pedro declared as he rose. "The decision should be made by the students. It's their school too, not just yours." After his mini-speech the members thought for a moment and then nodded. Summer shook her head, but she knew that Pedro was right.

"We'll 'try' to make ballots and distribute them during homeroom by Friday", she finally said. "Ok?"

"_Sí, es bueno_."

---

Friday morning during homeroom people from the student council went to each class and distributed ballots for the tether ball tournament. Some crumbled and tossed them in the trash while others seemed interested and marked their choice. Afterwards the teachers collected the papers so Summer and Trisha could get them. When the final bell tolled the council met to tally; Napoleon and Pedro witnessed. Only sixty-four pupils had cast a vote, so it just took a couple minutes to count. They made two piles, and one gradually became bigger than the other. Summer scoffed while the others whooped.

"I can not believe the turnout," she said, crossing her arms. "Why do you people care so much about a stupid game!"

"It's a sport", replied Pedro.

"And", Napoleon cut in, "the reason you hate it is because you can't win."

"Yes I can! I can beat you any day of the week."

"You're afraid of my skills! That's why you didn't play me when I asked."

"Let's go, right now!" Suddenly Summer and Napoleon raced to the door, but Don and Pedro quickly restrained them.

"Save it for the tournament you two!"

"Fine!" Then Napoleon walked out, followed by Pedro. "I hope I'll face her in the tournament."

"Yeah, that would be something."

-----

On Monday the principle announced that the tether ball tournament would start on Saturday, but there would be a tryout after school to see who would qualify to play. Napoleon, Pedro, Deb, Don, Summer, Trisha, and about twenty others signed up in the front office; even Randy put his name on the list. After 4:00pm the students journeyed outside where the poles stood, and they were greeted by a new coach.

"What the heck are you doing here Uncle Rico!"

"Relax Napoleon, this is my new job. Selling Tupperware and 'Bust Must Plus' wasn't paying as much mullah as this gig is. You see, I 'wanted' to coach football, but they stuck me here. Man, tether ball is the worse game ever."

"You're retarded! Tether ball is the best sport ever played!"

"If you don't watch your mouth, I won't let you compete in the tournament." Napoleon sighed.

"Ok, Un… coach."

"That's more like it. Now, let's get this thing over with."

'Coach' Rico had the competitors face him one by one. He judged them by their reflexes, how hard they hit, and whether they really tried or not. Some lost, others beat him, and a few broke the rules.

"You can't hit the ball twice Napoleon!"

"What! Why didn't anyone tell me that before!"

"I don't know, but another violation and I'm going to disqualify you."

"I won't do it again, gosh!"

The tryouts lasted an hour, and afterwards Coach Rico wanted to collapse. Everyone stunk with sweat and waited to hear the results, but he proclaimed that they would be posted the next day. As they left, Napoleon stayed behind to play with Deb for a while.

"Do you think I did well", she asked.

"Heck yes you did! You're going to win."

"Not if you're picked."……


	2. Round One

Author's Note: The names of the students were taken from the credits of "Napoleon Dynamite". But, I don't know what they look like, so I made that up.

**Round One**

The day after try-outs Coach Rico posted the list of combatants for the tetherball tournament in the cafeteria. There were sixteen names including Napoleon, Pedro, Deb, Don, Summer, Trisha, and Randy. Every match of the competition was scheduled for a Saturday, giving the competitors a week to prepare. Coach Rico placed a pole to the gym so the players would feel comfortable; also, if anyone actually showed to watch.

Deb felt unsure of herself because she was on the bottom of the roster. Napoleon didn't want to see her down, so he practiced with her after school to help sharpen her skills; Pedro also gave her advice. Summer and Trisha trained together and made it a goal to beat the "losers". Don and Randy didn't do a thing to get ready for the event.

-----

Before long the first round dawned. At 10:00am the sixteen tetherballers gather on the gym floor, in their P.E. clothes, around the pole in the center ring. On the bleachers sat a few students and others; Napoleon's Grandma and Pedro's cousins with the sweet hookups were among them. Coach Rico, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, walked to the middle of pack.

"Ok," he started, "here's the rules in case any of you forgot. Stay on your side of the pole. No hitting the string, the pole, or kicking the ball. No catching and throwing the ball at anytime or hitting it twice. Best two-out-of-three moves to the next round. Got it?" Each kid nodded. Then Rico flipped through some papers on his clipboard and announced, "First up, Napoleon and James."

The other combatants plopped on a bench near the spectators while Napoleon and James stepped to either side of the pole. James was as tall as Napoleon, but chunkier and with jet-black hair. Both were in the FFA, and they've worked together before, but now neither wanted to have the other lose. The two stared at each other for a moment, knowing only one could win. Coach Rico handed the ball to James, and he held it at eyelevel. They positioned themselves, and when Rico blew his whistle James smacked the sphere.

The ball swung over the metal post, and when it lowered Napoleon slapped it back to James. For a while they kept hitting the orb back and forth, until Napoleon sent it whirling so fast that James didn't attempt to save it. After the string completely wrapped around the pole Coach Rico ran to undo it and then gave the ball to Napoleon. He took hold and belted it downward, causing James to touch the string. Rico sounded the whistle and they stopped.

"First warning, two more and you're done James," yelled the coach.

Napoleon caught the ball and swatted it down again, and this time James knew better. He waited for a moment to strike as the sphere quickly orbited the pole. The string got shorter and shorter every second, but finally the husky boy sent it hurling in the opposite direction. Napoleon let the ball unwind a few times then nailed it with his fist. James wasn't fast enough, and soon they heard Rico's whistle.

"Game over; Napoleon wins!" The small crowd clapped while Deb and Pedro whooped. Napoleon and James shook hands before taking a seat. "Next up, Randy and Vern" the coach declared.

Napoleon sat between his girlfriend and his best friend, watching Randy as he clobbered another fellow FFA member. Deb grabbed Napoleon's hand and rested her head on his shoulder. "You did great," she whispered.

"Yeah, but it wasn't fair. I'm like infinity times better than James."

"He did his best.… I just hope your uncle doesn't put me with a guy."

"If he does he's a retard."

"I thought he already was a retard?"

"Oh, yeah. …Then he'll be an über retard, gosh!"

"Hey," Pedro cut in, "Randy is pretty good."

"He's just here to beat on people since he can't do it in the halls anymore **-1**."

"You're probably right." Just as Pedro said that the coach blew the whistle; Randy had won. Then he signaled for Deb and another girl, Lindsey, to face each other. "You'll do good Deb."

"Heck yes she will!" She smiled as she let go of his hand and walked to the pole. Suddenly the sweaty bully took her place. "Hey, you're in my woman's spot!"

"She's not here," Randy replied.

"What the flip are you doing here anyway?"

"Uh… I like tetherball."

"Yeah, right."

"No really, I like tetherball."

"What! Since when?"

"Since… forever. But, there is one thing I like better than tetherball; that's beating the snot out of the opponents. Did you see how hard I hit Vern with the ball? That guy is going to have a bruise on the side of his face for a month!"

"Are you allowed to do that," asked Pedro.

"I didn't get disqualified, did I?"

"Go eat a decroded piece of crap Randy!"

"Make me Napoleon!"

Before the two could cut one another's throats they heard the whistle again, and Deb ran to Napoleon squealing with joy. Thus Randy moved to the far end of the bench, but Napoleon still glared at him often.

---

The first round of the tournament lasted about an hour and a half. After Deb defeated Lindsey, Summer Wheatley blasted a guy named Lance, a nerd who Randy use to torture for lunch money. Then Trisha clobbered Nathan, another weakling. Both Don and Pedro beat their opponents, moving them to the next round along with another guy named TJ. As everyone was leaving the gym Napoleon decided to say something to the coach that had lingered in his mind.

"What the flip are you doing," he started. "Why were Summer and Trisha put with boys who are worst then them?"

"That's just the way it turned out," Rico replied. "What's wrong with that?"

"You know their skill levels aren't high! What are you, a friggin' idiot?"

"Ok, you want to know the truth," the coach whispered, and Napoleon nodded. "They paid me money to place them with people they could easily beat."

"What! How much did they give you?"

"Five hundred big ones! You know I can't say no to mullah like that." Napoleon let out a big sigh. "Now, don't tell anyone about this, ok? And if you don't, I'll think about giving you five percent."

"Whatever, gosh!" Then Napoleon stomped to the bench and sat down, hunched over and with eyes closed.

"What's wrong," Pedro asked when he saw his best friend.

"It's my stupid Uncle Rico. He accepted a bribe from Summer and Trisha to make it easier for them to win the tournament. And, he also told me that he would give ME money if I kept my mouth shut."

"I cannot believe that they would do something like that. It's not fair. What should we do?"

"We won't tell anyone ok; not because I want the money, but because I don't want Deb to know."

"If we help her with her game, she won't have to worry. We have a week till the next round. We'll have to work together to stop them."

"Let's do it"……

A/N: I don't plan on continuing this story anytime soon because of school :-(. Thanks for reading, a really appreciate it!

**-1 **You won't get this line if you haven't read my other Napoleon fic; "Warriors"


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